Elevator Laws

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There are un-written rules that everyone who rides elevators follow
whether they know it or not. It's not something that anyone has
placed into effect by law...It's just the way things are....

1. When you are waiting for an elevator and there are two sets, the
one that is the greatest distance from you will open first.

2. While you are riding the elevator, it is not permissible to look
anyone in the eyes. The proper place to stare is at the floor or at
the numbers.

3. The person at the very back of the elevator will always be the
one who needs off first.

4. If you are on the top floor of a 32 story building and needed to
go the 1st floor, the elevator will stop 31 times before you reach
the ground.

5. If you get off on the wrong floor and realize it the instant your
foot hits the ground outside the elevator, it's much too
embarrassing to admit you are wrong, so you stay outside the door and
act like you know what you're doing then catch the next one and hope
all the people you were with have gotten off.

6. When there are six elevator doors, the one you stand in front of
will be the last to open.

7. When the elevator is the most full, one of two people will be on
with you: an extremely sick man who coughs constantly and then gets
off on the same floor you do, or a lady with a baby that screams
through the entire ride.

8. Don't pass gas in an elevator even if you are all alone because
when you do, the very next stop will have ten people waiting to get
on. It's always best to wait until the elevator is full then no one
knows who to blame.

9. If you speak to a stranger in an elevator there will always be
nervous laughter.

10. The friendliest person on the elevator that insists on talking
to you will always have bad breath and body odor.

11. Elevators force us to be close to people that we would never
choose to be around otherwise. If you want a cultural experience,
spend a day riding elevators around town.

12. The first person to get on the elevator gets the command
position next to the buttons so that they can feel important when
people ask them to punch their floor for them.

13. While waiting on an elevator, there will always be one person to
comment on how slow the elevator is and then push the up or down
button over and over as if that will make it speed up.

14. Once inside the elevator that same person will repeatedly punch
the button for their floor thinking that this also will speed up the

15. On top of the list of the most annoying elevator pet peves is
the parent who will allow their child to push the buttons and then
smile at you after the kid has pushed all 26 buttons while you are on
the first floor needing to get to the 25th floor. Then at every floor
the kid will yell "Is this where we get off?"

16. The floor that is la bled the 1st floor is not really the 1st
floor but is in reality the basement. Ther 1st floor is actually la
bled the 2nd floor.

17. If you are not in any hurry, there will always be an empty
elevator just waiting with the doors open just for you by yourself.

18. In buildings where smoking is allowed, there will always be one
person who insist on taking the last drag off their cigarette
putting it out then waiting to exhale until the elevator door closes
with you trapped inside.

19. If a child rides the elevator, they will have a balloon that
just happens to be at your face level and there is no place to turn.
Popping the balloon is a strong temptation.

20. I would rather ride the elevator with people than take the
stairs alone!

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