Late for work
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This guy is flying down the road and he comes over a bridge. Sure
enough, a cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other side of the
bridge and pulls him over.
The cop walks up to the guy's car and asks, "What's the hurry?"
The guy says, "I'm late for work."
"What do you do?"
The guy responds, "Well, I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop says, "What? A rectum stretcher?"
The guy says, "Yeah. I start with a finger, then work my way up to two
fingers... eventually I get a hand in, then both hands, and I slowly
stretch it until it's about six feet wide."
The cop asks, "What do you do with a six-foot asshole?"
"Well, you give him a radar gun and park him at the end of a bridge.."