More Better English

Abdicate--v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

Balderdash--n., a rapidly receding hairline.

Bustard--n., a very rude Metrobus driver.

Carcinoma--n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.

Circumvent--n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Coffee--n., a person who is coughed upon.

Esplanade--v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.
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Flabbergasted--adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.

Flatulence--n., the emerge** ncy vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

Gargoyle--n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.

Internet--n., the web of interns in which Ken Starr has tried to snare Bill Clinton.

Lymph--v., to walk with a lisp.

Macadam--n., the first man on Earth, according to the Scottish bible.

Marionettes--n., residents of Washington, DC, who have been jerked around by the mayor.

Negligent--adj., describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.**

Oyster--n., a person who sprinkles his or her conversation with Yiddish expressions.

Semantics--n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers.
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Testicle--n., a humorous question on an exam.

Rectitude--n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he or she examines you.

Willy-nilly--adj., impotent

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