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My dearest congregation:
During an NAACP celebration
for a victory over discrimination -
where I felt righteous indignation -
for my brothers in this troubled nation.
In the heat of my elation
(after several strong libations)
due to my intoxication
I started to feel a sensation
with my unit in full salutation
and in need of some franternization
so I partook in some fornication
which resulted in the impregnation
of a member of my delegation
(shoulda used spermicidal lubrication
or indulged in self-masturbation).
I didn't consider the ramification
and accidentally added to the population.
Adding to the speculation
that I should tender my resignation
(not to mention my wife's infuration
and subsequent threat of castration).
When suddenly I had a revelation
as her pregnancy reached maturation
that with the NAACP's coordination
and some financial compensation
I could keep this situation
deeply secreted in isolation
and avoid a legal investigation.
There you have my explanation
of this unfortunate situation.

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