Texas Computer Definitions

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Hard Drive: Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires, pulling a flatbed trailer loaded with alfalfa hay.

Keyboard: Place to hang your truck keys.

Window: Place in the truck to hang your gun.

Floppy: When you run out of Polygrip.

Modem: How you got rid of the weeds in the pasture.

ROM: Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.

Byte: The next thing that happens after you hear that rattling sound, down in the snake grass.

Reboot: What you do when your old pair gets encrusted with barn droppings.

Network: Activity meant to provide bait for your trout line.

Mouse: Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.

LAN: To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."

Cursor: What you do when you find out your wife drank up all your Lone Star.

Website: The place in the barn where the spiders live.

Newsgroup: When the wives get together to gossip at the Widder Hawkins' place.

Screen Saver: The paint you put on your screen door when it begins to rust.

CPU: When you look down and see a cow pattie.

Browser: What you do when a purty gal walks by in the general store.

Chipset: Two piles of buffalo dung, side by side.

C++: The best grade you got before dropping out of school.

Motherboard: The process of jacking up your mama and backing the pickup under her, for her Saturday trip to the bingo hall.

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