Sayings on bathroom walls

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open. -- Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die. -- Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

If you can pee this high, join the fire department. -- On the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 feet. O'Ryan's -Irish Pub. Ashland, Oregon.

Beauty is only a light switch away. -- Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards. -- Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives. -- Armand's Pizza. Washington, D.C.

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?" -- Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? -- The Irish Times. Washington, D.C.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. -- The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her. -- Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

To do is to be. - Descartes; To be is to do. - Voltaire; Do be do be do. - Frank Sinatra. -- Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. -- Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. -- Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.

Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married! -- Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.

God is dead. - Nietzsche; Nietzsche is dead. - God. -- The Tombs Restaurant. Washington, D.C.

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. -- Revolution Books. New York, New York.

A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it. -- Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.

JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested? -- Men's restroom, American University. Washington, D.C.

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress! -- Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington, D.C.

867-5309 -- Men's restroom. Duke Nukem 3d, first scenario, first level.

Watch out for Gay Limbo Dancers -- Inside toilet stall door, Men's restroom,

Express Lane: Five beers or less -- Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Pheonix, AZ.

You're too good for him. -- Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills,CA.

No wonder you always go home alone. -- Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.