Mottos To Live By


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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

**To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands.

Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."

Guests who kill talk show hosts .. On the last Geraldo.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

Borrow money from pessimists+they don't expect it back.

2.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Use SWAG when making you more important decisions - (Scientific Wild-Ass Guess)





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