Apple Corporation Sues Itself


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[AP] In a move that has industrial analysts scratching their heads,
Apple Computers has filed suit against Apple Computer, Inc. The
company claims that Apple has violated the Look and Feel of their own
machines which has helped to make the company famous.

An Apple Spokesperson stated "This is no joke. If we don't protect our
copyrighted interface, everyone will use it and we could lose the
exclusive right. So it is in our best interests to sue anyone who uses
the Macintosh Look and Feel, including ourselves." The spokesperson
says Apple has retained the prestigious LA law firm of Kukla, Fran and
Ollie to spearhead the lawsuit. Apple's in house lawyers will defend.

Long time Apple observer Ernest Dinklefwat stated that this is a sure
sign that Apple has too many lawyers and not enough engineers. "In the
old days Apple depended on its talented engineers to keep ahead of the
competition, but now they have lost the edge, as well as their grasp on
reality."

The industry will be sure to watch this case closely. If Apple wins
the suit against itself, this could mean a massive recall of all
Macintosh and Lisa computers which will need to be converted to avoid
all graphics and desktop metaphors and instead provide a simple
terminal-like interface. Such a move would cause a massive digression
in the personal computer market. Users of computers would be forced to
learn to read, which could cause dangerous literacy among college
students and professionals.





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