Death of the Pillsbury Doughboy

Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson, the Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of a
severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly.
He was 71. Some fervent devotees expected him to rise again, but they were
disappointed.

Doughboy was buried in a slightly greased coffin. The funeral was held at
3:50 for about 20 minutes. Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play
Dough. They have two children and one in the oven.

The Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled
with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting
much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at
times he still, as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for
millions.

Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the
California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies,
Captain Crunch and many others. The graveside was piled high with flours of
longtime friends.

Aunt Jemima delivering the eulogy, described Doughboy as a man who "never
knew how much he was kneaded."