Old Maid


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In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin and very proud of it. Realizing that her final days were rapidly approaching, she told the local, part-time postal clerk, part-time undertaker, that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:


"BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN"


Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. The undertaker then went to carve the inscription that she had requested. It was then that he realized that the tombstone she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen.


He thought long and hard as to how he could fulfil the old maid's final request with such limited space available to him. After agonizing over this dilemma for days, inspiration finally came to him, and the following inscription was carved into her tombstone:


"RETURNED UNOPENED"





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