Little Willie

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Willie bashed open Baby's head
To see if brains are gray or red
What a naughty boy is he
he shall have no jam for tea.

Willie poisoned Auntie's tea
Auntie died in agony.
Uncle came and looked quite vexed.
"Really, Will," he said, "what next?"

Little Willie, mean as hell
Drowned his sister in the well.
Mother said, while drawing water,
"Gee, it's hard to raise a daughter."

Little Willie's dead and gone,
His face we'll see no more.
For what he thought was H2O
Was h2SO4.

Little Willie from the mirror licked the mercury off,
Thinking in his childish error it would cure whooping cough.
At the funeral Willie's mother smartly said to Mrs. Brown,
"'Twas a chilly day for Willie when the mercury went down."

Little Willie in best of shashes
Fell into the fire and was burnt to ashes.
By and by the room grew chilly,
But no one like to poke poor Willie.

Little Willie at a passing gent
Threw a batch of fresh cement.
Then he said, "Wait until you dry!
Then you'll be a real hard guy!"

Little Willie on his bike
Through the village took a hike.
Mrs. Thompson blocked the walk;
She will live, but still can't talk.

Willie saw some dynamite,
Couldn't understand it quite.
Curiosity never pays;
It rained Willie seven days.

Willie fell down the elevator,
Wasn't found 'till six days later.
Then the neighbors sniffed: "Gee whiz!
What a spoiled child Willie is!"

Willie in the cauldron fell;
See the grief on mother's brow!
Mother loved her Darling well,
Willie's quite hard-boiled by now.

Willie with a thirst for gore,
Nailed the baby to the door.
Mother said, with humor quaint,
"Willie dear, don't spoil the paint."

Willie's cute as cute can be.
Beneath his brother, only three,
He lit a stick of dynamite.
Now Brother's simply out of sight.

Willie, I regret to state,
Cut his sister up for bait.
We miss her when it's time to dine,
But Willie's fish taste simply fine.

Willie's on the railroad track-
The engine gave a squeal.
The engineer just took a spade,
And scraped him off the wheel.

Little Willie, playing ball
Lined one down the schoolhouse hall
Through the door came Mr. Hill
Several teeth are missing still

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