Bizarre Happenings


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Thanks to a friend in Portsmouth, England, when Jesus returns
for the second coming, He'll have enough money for a sportscar and a
condo in Palm Springs. Mr. Ernest Digweed died sixteen years ago and
left his entire estate to Jesus Christ. He instructed the State
Trustee Office to invest his money in government bonds, guaranteeing
Jesus a total yield of $615,820 by the end of the century. Digweed's
heirs are contesting the will, and have offered an unusual solution:
an insurance policy in the same amount payable to Jesus upon his
return. Since then, another problem has cropped up. Two individuals,
each insisting that he is Jesus reborn, have filed claims for the
money...


The Coca-Cola Company, after winning a long struggle for
permission from the government to sell Coke in mainland China, was
very disappointed at the lackluster response to the
product. Troubleshooters were called in to overhaul marketing
strategies, and soon discovered the problem: in Chinese pictographs,
"Coca-Cola" translates to "female horse fattened with wax" or "bite
the wax tadpole"...



A burglar in Fairfax, Virginia, who tried to break into a
department store through a skylight, was arrested on the roof by
police. It seems he forgot to wait until the store was closed, and was
reported by some of the many shoppers still in the store ... Sometimes
it's the little things that trip you up...



Police officers in South Boston weren't sure what they had when
found a man under a bridge, stuck in mud up to his chin, and calling
for help. It seems the man had tried to commit suicide by jumping off
the bridge. Unfortunately, he jumped at low tide.



A nuclear bombing comes this disturbing information: "If you were near
the explosion without adequate protection, you would be seriously
affected by the immediate radiation, in addition to being killed."...



An Illinois man hired a house-moving firm to relocate his home at
a new site. Workers jacked up the house, but when they started to move
it, a cable broke, and the house slid down the hill. The crew watched
helplessly as the building came to a stop-- directly on the newly
chosen site...That'll be nine thousand dollars, please...


Mrs. Jessie Brockman, a 66 year old woman from Menlo Park, CA was
found dead with a revolver in her hand...of natural causes. It seems
that she had a heart attack before she could pull the trigger...



A manufacturer of sweatshirts that boasted MONEY ISN'T EVERYTHING is no
longer in business...


Isreal Schnitzer, a Russian emigrant who had just arrived in
Jerusalem, wanted to obtain a driver's license. Although he had done
poorly on the written exam, he told the instructor. "If you fail me,
I'll shoot you."
Apparently, he was dead serious. When the examiner failed him,
Schnitzer
pulled a pistol and killed two drivng instructors, a policeman, and
himself... It was either that or learn to parallel park...





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