Ponderables

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I'm happily married - but my wife isn't

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

I intend to live forever - so far, so good

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy

I thought about being born again, but my mother refused.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!

It wasn't actually a divorce - I was traded

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of

Robin Hood was a terrorist

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it

Shake well before and after use

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have

Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.

The light at the end of the tunnel is a muzzle flash.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

 Mail this joke to a friend