Sperm count

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A 75 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring
me back a sample tomorrow."

The next day the 75 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and
gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on - the previous

The doctor asked what happened and the man explains: "Well, doc, it's
like this: First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I
tried with- my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for
help. She - tried with her right hand, with nothing. Then her left,
but nothing. She - even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with the teeth- out, and still nothing. We even called up the
lady next door and- she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "yep, but no matter what we tried we couldn't get
the darn jar open!"

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