Only in America

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1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in
front of a skating rink.

3. Only in drugstores make the sick walk all
the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in people order double cheese burgers,
large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in banks leave both doors open and then
chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars
in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in we use answering machines to screen calls
and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from
someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in we use the word 'politics' to describe the
process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics'
meaning 'Bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with
Braille lettering.

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