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There is a new virus going around, called "work". If you receive any
sort of "work" at all, whether via email, internet, or simply handed
to you by a colleague... DO NOT OPEN IT.
This has been circulating around our office for months and those who
have been tempted to open "work" or even look at "work" have found
that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function
properly. If you do encounter "work" via email or are faced with any
"work" at all, then, to purge the virus, send an email to your boss
with the words "I've had enough!! I'm off to Desmond O'Malley's."
The "work" should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you
receive "work" in paper-document form, simply lift the document and
drag the "work" to your garbage can, gather your belongings, and skip
to Dessie's with two friends and order three pints of Guiness. After
repeating this action 14 times, you will find that "work" will no
longer be of any relevance to you.
Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have
anyone in your address book, then I'm afraid the "work" virus has
already corrupted your life.