Employee Evaluations


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1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and
has started to dig."
2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid
curiosity."
3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
4. "This employee is not so much of a has been, but more of a won't
be."
5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a
rat in a trap."
6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change
feet."
7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the
better."
10. "Got a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
together."
11. "He would argue with a signpost."
12. "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
13. "She brings so much joy whenever she leaves a room."
14. "When his IQ reaches 50 we should sell."
15. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the
other one."
16. "A photographic memory but with the lens glued on."
17. "A prime candidate for natural selection."
18. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
19. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming."
20. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for
it."
21. "If he was anymore stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a
week."
22. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
23. "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
24. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled."





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