God on Oral Sex

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After having been commissioned by God to take a survey of how man was
doing on Earth, St. Peter now stood before his boss ready to present his

"Tell me, St. Peter, what have you found out?" God asked.

"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but the people are behaving in
a sinful manner. There's drugs, alcohol, murders, you name it-a regular
Sodom and Gomorra. But the worst is this new obsession with oral sex.
According to my survey, 88% of the population is doing it. I'm afraid it
has reached epidemic proportions.

"Hmmm," God said thoughtfully, "do you have any recommendations as to
what should be done to put an end to this sexual perversion?"

"I think we should send a message to everyone on Earth who engages in
oral sex. The contents of that message should tell them exactly what
will happen to them on Judgment Day if they do not stop this type of
activity." Replied St. Peter.

"That is an effective solution," God stated, "but I think that instead
of punishing those who practice oral sex, we should reward those who
refrain from it. Let's send a letter that's personally signed by me to
each one of these good people."

And so they did. Do you know what the letter said?

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