Eve in the Garden

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God,
"Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided
this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful
animals,and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just
not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of
apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall
create a man for you."

"What's a 'man', Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad
traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in
all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger,
faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will
provide you with companionship and satisfy your
desires. Yet, he'll be witless and will revel in
childish things like fighting and kicking a ball
about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your
advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised
eyebrow. "What's the catch, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and
self-admiring. . So you'll have to let him believe
that I made him first. . So, just remember: it's our
secret. Woman to Woman."

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