Special High Intensity Training


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TO: All Employees
Subject: Special High Intensity Training


In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you
feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please
see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that
you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before
they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all
full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be
interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC
UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST. (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and
can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR of INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.
S.H.I.T.). If you have further questions, please direct them to our
HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)





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