What really happens at US airports


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The controller working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a
360. The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know it costs us two
thousand dollars to make a 360 in this airplane?" Without missing a beat
the controller replied, "Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth."

PSA was following United, taxiing out for departure. PSA called the tower
and said "Tower, this is United 586. We've got a little problem, so go
ahead and let PSA go first." The tower promptly cleared PSA for takeoff
before United had a chance to object to the impersonation.

A DC-10 had an exceedingly long landing rollout after landing with his
approach speed just a little to high... San Jose Tower: "American 751
Heavy, turn right at the end if able. If not able, take the Guadalupe
exit off of Highway 101 back to the airport.

Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure... by the way, as
we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the
runway." Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure
on 124.7... did you copy the report from Eastern?" Continental 635:
"Continental 635, cleared for takeoff... and yes, we copied Eastern and
we've already notified our caterers."

O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329, traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3
miles, eastbound." United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say
this... I've got that Fokker in sight."






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