Various Jabs

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Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?

A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge
and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to
the fridge.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are
sensitive, caring,and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. When would you care for a man's company?
A. When he owns it.

Q. How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?
A. Three, if you slice them very thinly.

Q. What are a woman's four favourite animals?
A. A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a
tiger in the bedroom, and a Jackass to pay for it all.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
A. So they can find their way back to the house

Q. How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
A. In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

Q. What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
A. One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish

Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes
all their decisions.

Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A. Bonds mature.

Q. How can a woman marry a rich, gorgeous, sensitive and intelligent man?
A. Easy! She just needs four different husbands

Q: Why do most men have an erection as they wake up?
A: Because they always start up their vital systems first.

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