Bitter men/women say the cutest things

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Bitter men say the cutest things.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only
seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was nearly impossible.

A man complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful
house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman ... then ... pow! ...
it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "Awww, my wife
found out."

Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
bald and still think they are beautiful.

Bitter women say the cutest things.

Men are like coolers - Load them up with beer and you can take them

Men are like plungers - They spend most of their lives in a hardware
store or in the bathroom.

Men are like chocolate bars - sweet, smooth, and they usually head
straight for your hips.

Men are like coffee - The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you
going all night long.

Men are like computers - Hard to figure out and never enough memory.

Men are like horoscopes - They always tell you what to do and usually
they are wrong.

Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and
good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because they are all pigs.

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