How to satisfy a man/woman every time

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Lick, paw, ogle, caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage,
empathize, serenade, compliment, support, dig, floralize, feed,
laminate, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube,
stroke, console, bark, purr, hug, baste, marinate, coddle, excite,
pacify, tattoo, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle,
smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice, ply, accessorize,
leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl,
tunnel, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend,
implore, bawl, shower, shave, ululate, trust, dip, twirl, dive,
grovel, ignore, defend, milk, coax, clothe, straddle, melt, brag,
acquiesce, aromate, prevail, super collide, fuse, fizz, rationalize,
detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil,
reddi-whip, embrace, delouse, accept, butter-up, hear, understand,
jitterbug, mosh, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim,
hold her hair while she's puking in the toilet, nurse, resuscitate,
repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for,
die for, do a nickel in Attica for, dream of, promise, exceed,
deliver, tease, flirt, enlist, torch, pine, wheedle, cajole,
angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, hezbollah, jihad,
elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite,
taste, nibble, gratify, take her to Funkytown, scuttle like a crab on
the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey,
hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I
die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize,
humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free
world, wet, slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble,
drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge,
wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship,

and then go back, Jack, and do it again.


Show up.

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