Women Drivers

This joke viewed 3355 times with a rating of 4.50 from 2 votes

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a
female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck,
causing him to have to drive on the shoulder. This
evidently p!ssed the driver off enough that he hung
out his window and flipped the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I
ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner
whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and
here's why:
I drive 38 miles each way, every day, to work. That's
76 miles, of these, 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
So, if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that
means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet
per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424
cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not
bumper-to-bumper. I figure I pass at least another
4000 cars. That brings the number to something like
36,000 cars I pass every day.
Statistically half of these are driven by females,
that's 18,000.
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 are having the
worst day of their period. That is 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love
life as dissatisfying or unrewarding, that's 449.
According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of
all females have seriously considered suicide or
homicide, that's 98.
And, 34% describe men as their biggest problem, that's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all
females carry weapons, and the number is increasing.
That means, that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at
least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks
men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered
suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her
period, and is armed.
No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM
of flipping her off.

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Send mail to jokeman@thejokejukebox.com
Cajun Cooking Recipes