Ending it all

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An 83-year old woman decided that she'd seen and done everything, and
the time had come to depart from this world. After considering various
methods of doing away with herself, she came to the conclusion that
the quickest and surest method would be to shoot herself through the
heart. The trouble was, she wasn't certain about exactly where her
heart was, so she phoned her doctor and asked him. He told her that
her heart was located two inches below her left nipple. So she shot
herself in the left kneecap.

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