Things You Don't Want to Overhear Over an Airline P.A. System

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Things You Don't Want to Overhear Over an Airline P.A. System

1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just
wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be
used as floatation devices.

2. Hey folks, were going to play a little game of geography trivia.
If you can recognize where we are, tell your flight attendant and
receive an extra pack of peanuts.

3. Our loss of altitude allows a unique close up perspective of the
local terrain. I assure you that it's all part of our airlines new
commitment to make your a flight a sight seeing extravaganza.

4. Goose! Bogey at 2 o' on our tail!!!! Eject!!!!

5. ummmmmm....Sorry......(silence)

6. (As the plane turns around right after takeoff)....uhhhhh....we
have to go back ....we ..we ....uhhhhhh ....forgot something.....

7. I'm sure everyone's noticed the loss of an engine, however the
reduction in weight and drag will mean we'll be flying much more
efficiently now. (ironic note: this is actually true for prop

8. Fasten your seatbelt. (same tone your friend with the suicidal
driving tendencies uses when you get in the car)

9. This is your Captain speaking....these darn planes are a lot
different than the ships I'm used you'll have to give me some

10. It would be a good idea if right now everyone closed their shades
and watched the in-flight movie.

11. We've now reached our cruising altitude of 20,000 feet and... Oh

12. Don't worry that one is always on E...

13. Get the parachutes ready...

14. Drinks are on me...or I'll have what the Captain's having...

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