Lawyer Quickies


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* A lawyer is a man who helps you get what's coming to him.

* A lawyer is someone who prevents somebody else from getting your
money.

* I've got a brilliant lawyer. He can look at a contract and in less
than a minute tell you whether it's oral or written.

* Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.

* You've heard about the man who got the bill from his lawyer which
said, "For crossing the street to speak to you and discovering it was
not you... twelve dollars."

A quote attributed to one of America's founders, John Adams, in the
play 1776: "I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is
called a disgrace, two men are called a law firm, and three or more
become a Congress."

A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The
client who had attended the trial was out of town when the jury came
back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client. The
lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading "Justice has
triumphed!" The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"

Q. What happens when you cross a Mafia don with a lawyer?
A. You have someone who makes you an offer you can't understand!





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