The Top 16 Signs Your White House Internship Is Going Well

16> The President lets you ride on "Air Force One", if you know
what I mean.

15> Boss not only implements "Casual Fridays" but also "Topless
Tuesdays."

14> You've just leapfrogged Al Gore in the line of succession.

13> "Oooh, yeah, baby -- I'll make you a White House Secretary...
Assistant Chief of Staff... ohhh... Ambassador to Sweden!...
Supreme Court Justice!!! Supreme Court Justice!!!"

12> The President has the Secret Service detail your '91 Taurus.

11> Buddy no longer wastes time sniffing both your crotch and the
President's.

10> After your first "meeting" with "The Boss," you move up 2 tax
brackets.

9> As if national publicity, a $1M movie deal, and $10M in
Democratic hush money wasn't enough, the Paula Jones Foundation
for Homely Women has donated $20K to you for a full makeover.

8> You get to sit on Gore's lap during the State of the Union
Address.

7> You know the White House like you know the back of the
President's head.

6> Your per diem is bigger than Peru's GNP and your only duty is
to keep silent.

5> The first lady invites you on a private ski weekend.

4> The Vice President isn't the only "stiffie" you've seen in the
White House.

3> Performance review rated you a "10" in the category "Ability
to turn-on the president with your hillbilly good looks."

2> Al Gore's pulse jumps up to 3 when you pass by.

and the Number 1 Sign Your White House Internship Is Going Well...

1> It ain't Keats, but for Bubba, "Shall I compare thee to a
Big Mac" is pretty damn romantic.

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