Corporate Zodiac


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What sign are you?

Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday.
The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us
what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you
watch on television.

Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job
title, people will have you all figured out...

MARKETING:

You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid
having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are
now. Least compatible with Sales.

SALES:

Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a
degree," you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls
you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with
"customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek
admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY:

Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead
content to completely control everything that happens at your
workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but
who the hell can tell?! It is written that the Geeks shall inherit the
Earth.

ENGINEERING:

One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that
ninety percent of all Personal Ads are placed by engineers. You can be
happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest
"ergodynamic" gadgets. However, we all know what is really causing
your "carpal tunnel"...

ACCOUNTING:

The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from
office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization;
combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of
rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES:

Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to
be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other
person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return
any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, AND
mail a letter!

MIDDLE MANAGEMENT N DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT N "TEAM LEADS":

Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to
remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a
single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of
meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other
"Middle Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Middle
Manager."

SENIOR MANAGEMENT:

Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to
remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a
single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of
meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other
"Senior Managers," as everyone in your social circle is a "Senior
Manager."

CUSTOMER SERVICE:

Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking
your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a
little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to
play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your
best bet is to sleep with your manager.

CONSULTANT:

666.






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