Women's Advice to Men

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The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is
because WE actually change our underwear.

The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in
combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at
the toilet rim.

If we're watching football with you--it's not bonding--it's the butts.

If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your

Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to
say after the movie.

Don't fret if you find out that the milkman delivers more
than once a day.

Please don't drive when you're not driving.

Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

Our bedtime headaches are inversely proportional to the
number of baths you take. *teehee* (^_^)

If you were really looking for an honest answer, you
wouldn't ask in bed.

The next time you joke about female drivers, research the
number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.

If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track
of "who's easy"?

Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.

When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.

Start parting and combing your hair to one side early in
life--you'll never see the 'island' coming.

Have a strong need for male bonding? Visit your proctologist.

Your contributions to your child should go above and beyond
that y chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.

Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

Your balding is a good thing--it subsidizes our hair care expenses.

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