Best Chocolate Rum Cake Ever

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1 or 2 quarts Rum 1 Tbsp Soda
1 Cup Butter 1/2 Cup Cocoa
1 Tbsp Sugar Lemon Juice
2 Large Eggs Brown Sugar
1 Cup Dried Fruit Nuts
Baking Powder

Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be just right. To be sure rum is of the highest quality, pour 1 level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. And 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the finest quality. Try another cup. Open second quart if necessary. Add 2 arge legs, 1 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets struck in the beaters just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the rum again to check for tonscisticity. Next sift 3 cups of pepper or salt (it doesn't matter) -- sampertherumagain. Sift 1/2 pint of lemon juith. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown thugar, or what-ever color you find. Wix mel. Greast over the turn cake pan to 350 gradees. Now pour the whole mess in the boven and cake. Check the rum again and bo to ged.

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