Dear Billy Bob


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Dear Billy Bob,

I am writing to you slow because I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad read in the paper
that most accidents happen within twenty miles from home, so we moved. I
won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here
took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change
their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it
works well. Last week I put a load of clothes in, pulled the chain and
haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't too bad. It only rained twice last week. The first
time it rained for three days and the second time it rained for four days.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, your aunt said that it would be a
little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them
off and put them in your pockets.

We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the
last payment on Granpa's funeral, up he comes.

Your Uncle Stan locked his keys in his brand new Buick yesterday. We were
worried because it was a hot day and it took him two hours to get Aunt
Anna and the kids out.

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out yet what it is
so I don't know if you are an Aunt or an Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in a whiskey vat. Some men tried to pull him out but
he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for
three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. One was
driving and the other two were riding in the back. The driver got out.
He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned
because they couldn't get the tail gate down.

There isn't much more news at this time, nothing much has happened.

Love,
Mom

PS. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already
sealed.





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